Who makes you feel grateful?

As much as we would like to be, we are neither independent nor self-sufficient. Instead we are part of an extraordinary continuum of events and beings on this planet.

The 11th of the 16 Guidelines For Life — gratitude — celebrates our connections with other beings and our capacity to support each other.

VIDEO: Views of Gratitude

Burlington’s Kayte Cleary retired from the Toronto police force and has been involved with The Centre for Compassion and Wisdom for four years.

“When feeling grateful, I find it impossible to feel unhappy. It is as if the two feelings cannot co-exist,” she says.

“It’s not an easy choice for us to think about and focus on the things we can be grateful for, but it is a choice … that will forever make us feel happy.”

The devastating tsunami that hit Asia and east Africa in December 2004 had a powerful effect on Buddhist monk Venerable Thich Nguyen Thao from Vancouver.

As an expression of gratitude to the people of Indonesia, Thailand and Malaysia who provided help to Vietnamese refugees such as himself, he decided to sell one of his meditation centres and donate the proceeds of about half a million dollars to the Canadian Red Cross tsunami relief fund.

When the initial shock of the sale had worn off, his congregation commented that it was the best lesson they had ever received from their teacher, adding, “We can have a temple of compassion instead.”

Try this: What is going well in your life? Can you identify six people who have contributed to this situation directly or indirectly? Have you expressed your appreciation? Some of them may be hard to thank. Is there a skilful way to do it?

Dekyi-Lee Oldershaw, director of The Centre for Compassion and Wisdom in Burlington, is coauthor of 16 Guidelines For Life, available at website centreforcompassionandwisdom.com.